LOFTY AND THE USED PS2

A short story about an English man !!! CW; vague mention to self harm, very poor mental health and drug use!!

MY STEP DADS COUSIN LOFTY COMES RAHND for weeks on end. They call him that cause he is obscenely tall. He’s another English obviously. He turned up the same day that we got a used PS2, but i don’t think it came from him. The controller cable was just too short for our sitting room, so that if someone leaned back on the sofa or got carried away, it would drag the whole PS2 off the stand, reseting itself. It ruined many a near level up. Lofty was way better at it that us. He seemed part of the delivery somehow and he never got bored of playing it with us. I learned so much from him. He tells me my parents’ music tastes bad, and gives me a Prodigy CD to listen to too.
’Don’t let yer mam and dad trick you into thinking this handbag shit is music!’ says he. He means old school house and trance. He cause me listening to the fantazia collection when my parents are out. My dad got him doing errands in return for staying. Pick ups and drop offs. He’s really funny, he can make anyone laugh in one second. One time when he was watering the front lawn with a hose, he sprayed the next door neiborough walking by. He dunt know mum fell out with several years ago, and he acted like nothin happened. He had bin sectioned once, and told me about the things his friend in the hospital used to swallow, because he dint like life. I won’t say what, because don’t like to think about it. Schizophrenia he said he had. He tells me not to bother feeding my brothers, and go out and play instead.
‘Why you always doin that?’ says he, one day when am balancing the milk bottles on a cushion, so i can empty the dishwasher at the same time.
‘Cause am not alahd out to play if I don’t.’ Says I.
‘You need to learn to lie’ says he, with a huge smile that makes everything feel immediately good ‘So you can have some fun!’ He the contorts his face into the silliest expression.
‘But who will feed my brothers?’ Says I.
Lofty had been chucked out of school when he was young, for I don’t know what. His parents sent him to the army to try and sort him out, that’s the British one of course. But he got chucked out because he got drunk at the barracks, stole a tank, and drove it through Beeston tahn centre. In the end, he got chucked out our house because he had a mega melt dahn, after taking too much of a home made weed muffin with nine bar. He thought my mum was the spawn of satan, and he cunt look her in the eye. When ever he did, he said it was like he was looking into the sun. Then he moved onto uttering abaht how Princess Margaret once scalded her feet, from being carried into a bath that was too hot. An how easy it wud be to kidnap her all burnt. When asked why, he said well she cant run and laughed a lot to himself. I laughed too, because his face is just always funny, but i dint get what she had to do with it. What I cud understand tho, was how he felt about my mum, because i was never sure about her either. I was glad really, about him getting escorted out the house, cause you really shunt look into the sun without welding goggles. As he was leaving he kept saying Shanghai The Countess of Snowdon’s with cooked feetsies. Over and over. All this to say, it made me wish my Grandad had given some of the English a chance, cause he might have liked them more than he thought. Luckily Lofty dint have to go to hospital again, but he want allahd to come back to the house anymore. And I missed him a lot, a lot.

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image credit - Staff of St Patrick //tape and metalic marker on paper 2023

I have been writing a book for longer than i dare admit, i currently have 60,000 words and hope to get another 20,000. This a a sample from near the start which i may or may not use!!

ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTIONAL, ALL CRIMES ARE NOT REAL AND IF THEY WHERE THEY HAVE ALREADY BEEN PAID FOR!!! ALL ANTI MONARCHY SENTIMENT IS PROTECTED UNDER FAIR USAGE!!!

ALFREDO_ACTION (My fave song when I was 12 AKA HANDBAG SHIT A NORTHERN ANTHEM FOR THOSE THAT DARE!!!!!! PIANO EUPHORIA OR CHEESE… I LET YOU DECIDE!!

THANKS FOR READING!!! SIGN UP FOR MORE!! GIVE ME SOME MONEY AN MONTH IF YOU REALLY WANT!!!!

FREE PALESTINE, FUCK ALL THE BS, AND KISS YOUR FRIENDS ON TEH SIDE OF THE FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!