DREAMS

Two bits i read last weekend at Lá Fhéile Bríde, closing event for Charlotte Saint Cullens exhibition A Mean Thing at North Bar, Leeds!!!!!

If your are anything like me you had to take breaks from the current news to throw up. Wish i was joking. I been so so ill this week and am sure its zillion PDFs being dumped into the world to be processed. I am a bit better now but I still have indigestion. I’m not ready to face mango lassi yet but i will be soon. So i have interrupted my Japan stuff to post something else. All power to the survivors !!! In a sense the piece is about the feelings wheel i am obsessed with. But feels relevant now to the vomming.

BUT FIRST A WARM UP!! The twice yearly fairy investigation society newsletter just dropped with 128 pages of new sightings from the isles that make up Ireland England Scotland Wales and the Isle of Man!! This is a bit I liked which is every description of sounds from fairy’s put together. It’s a full 9 minutes of near nonsense!! Happy Imbolc!! xx

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THE GREAT SCISM

Dreams are feelings, feelings I enjoy

Edges are illusions, illusions I enjoy

I don’t want freedom from illusions

But from mediation, overlords and intermediaries

Dreams are illusions, without them I’d die

But first psychosis !!!!!!

This means dreams are sanity, and I can’t take someone else sanity

I can’t be given sanity, I have to take it.

The American dream is for the immigrant

The gender dream is for the transexual

My dreams are civil rights and flowers singing

My dreams betray no one! Never give up your dreams!

Gender isn’t real, but it isn’t not real either

The edge of a gender is 100 per cent not real

That said, since becoming a boy I keep accidentally pissing on the toilet seat

I am not sure if this means biology is destiny or not.

Lately i’ve been between my feelings, as if in the middle of the wheel

And i’ve been waking up form the dream, and waking up in the dream

At night I am walking to the edge of my dreams

Then, I had a big dream of all the little ones joining up

In my waking life I keep walking though thresholds that feel like dream edges.

Images are illusions, I know cause the edges are a dead give away

And sound is obviously truth because it doesn’t have any

And why they call it liberation through hearing

Genres are moods, Moods I enjoy

Trance could be from the mountains of Ibiza

That decent into our bodies

When two songs mix together they become one

Because - There is only one

I love the songs that bridge genres

Dreams are health, health is other people

If you’re having a breakdown, the NHS will give you 8 feelings in a photocopy

and expected you be glad, If your feeling isn’t on the list then it don’t exist

The feelings wheel has 156 unique expressions, It spins like the wheel of fortune

If I had to add a feeling missing from the wheel, id add time

I had had a laughing orgasm, and one from pain.

Recently I got chromethesia and had an orgasm from a light changing colour

A light now shines from between my legs, so I have to keep them closed

No more manspreading allowed

Before, I broke my imagination, by imagining I could not imagine

I snapped my antenna, and nearly trapped myself in this world forever

After that came the gender jokes, and those swastika jokes

Our great schism started as a meme of 4chan

Started out as so-called irony with teens on the baby web

Now, were possessed by our jokes, our memes

And I think we can all agree, no ones laughing anymore

No dreams is no feelings, I wouldn’t ask an edge lord if feelings matter

I do wonder what they are on the edge of, I guess we will find out soon

Time is an illusion I enjoy

And some say its just how many things need to happen for an event to manifest

But its also how far away we are from information, as the false objectivity breaks down

Information temporal lag. Now it takes 3 years for something to be a world agreed on fact

News come to prison three days late

I’m embarrassed to admit I don’t know about Eminem destroying Machine gun Kelly till 6 years after

But i’m the first to know when Eric Cantona does anything

Sexual abuse survivors know the names of Epstein’s victims, while tech bros selling supplements still question if its real

BBC reported the collapse of the Solomon building on 9/11 while it was till up behind them

In 2027 you’ll all know about ETs, like the indigenous already do

So I realised that time didn’t exist, and everything is now

But then I thought about it later… Do you see how deep I am in this?

I believe in foundations, and dream in assumptions

Trans is my foundational illusion, unnatural is my foundational belief

Assumptions aren’t necessarily a problem, They are a problem I enjoy

I dream of friends who point out but don’t undermine my assumptions

Of being in Athens but i’m in Rome

Lately, half of my relationships felt they fit so well its like we are psychic

And the other half are so bad even communicating with them feels like enabling insanity

but i see no monopoly of pain or fragmentation

Story is another illusion I enjoy

If you want to know the rules of this world, look at the rules of story

What foundational story do you tell yourself, if it turned out to be false would change who you think you are?

Feelings are moods, Moods I enjoy

Agro could be an accent greek god

They decided in Ancient Greece that story cant end with it was all just a being dream

Because it makes human conflict seem pointless,

And you can’t have god come and fix everything, it takes away human agency

so we have to keep going, learn how to not write outsells into a corner

Edges are illusions, Are dreams, Are feelings

Are moods, Are problems, Are genres, that I enjoy, will never give up

Memories are emotions, this world is on the edge of being forgotten

Yesterday I remembered when I left heaven

And how far away I made it seem, the made up gap

Last night I saw in the future, it split into two

they had burned of all there feelings off with swastikas,

Sometimes disguised as rewards or facts

Because- facts don’t care about your feelings!

They had no dreams anymore,

And us?

We had burned away all the borders with our gender failures, romance failures, emotional failures, all our dreams that didn’t work out

We lived in one big dream, behind the barricade of failures

Every inch claimed in feelings, i could see from this perspective,

good or bad was worth it and contributed to the new dream.

Relevant in my mind is this video of Elvis singing If I Can Dream live which is the best performance i have seen maybe ever (the thirst to be free AND nothing to prove- deadly!) I can’t find any good cover of it (impersonators tend to avoid it) Post Malone really tried but its just come by yah- NO THIRST, NO PAIN!! From the first three seconds of the first time i heard the song i knew it was really full of power!

Feelings wheel from aura farming show - photo by Jordan Taylor!! yes i am shotting these £10 each but you have to catch me!!!

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NEXT WEEK- EGGED ON THE DAILY (the next installment of my Japan Diary, talking about the homeless movement in japan and more !!!